Jesus and Nursing 2.0: Shaken Not Stirred

First of all… one word… JESUS! This has been the longest year in my professional, personal,spiritual, mental and emotional life. I have learned and grown and seen a new perspective since last year. I wrote last year around this time mid pandemic about Jesus and nursing: the pressure cooker and how I stepped into a new role after my former leader left and how I felt during such an unknown time with a virus that was (and still is) kicking our butts. Since then, it has been a long and shakey ride. So I saw fit to name this Jesus and Nursing 2.0: Shaken not stirred.

Let me start with this verse: “When God spoke from Mount Sinai his voice shook the earth, but now he makes another promise: “Once again I will shake not only the earth but the heavens also.” This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain. Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. For our God is a devouring fire.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:26-29‬ ‭NLT‬‬

A few blogs ago I shared how my life was stirred and all ingredients were perfectly blended. But God shook somethings up in me and around me! I was named Interim Nursing Director of my unit at the end of 2020. I was so excited and ready for the challenge. I soon found out how much weight this role carries and many times wondered if I was truly capable of handling this task during this time. This is when God began to shake things up in my life. Many had things to say. Those who I thought had my back showed me otherwise. Betrayal and Humility as well as a clearer picture of people emerged. It hurt. I struggled with my flesh and my spirit. The word tells us to not repay evil for evil; but evil for good (1 Peter 3:9) but honestly I didn’t wanna do that. I wanted to come for them… I wanted them to know that they didn’t know who they dealt with. Other times I wanted to be the perfect person and leader and Not only was i trying to please people but I cared too much about their thoughts toward me. Even with those revelations (and that’s what they were…God showing me who was in front of me not to retaliate but to see so I can respond HIS way… and through him I did.. but know I didn’t want to!) I still had to Carry myself in a way that showed that I was an example.

• 

My faith started to become shakey… this interim role was a year long process. The position was created and I truly believe it was a long process purposely to see if I was ready, was patient, if i had faith in and continued to be obedient to God. God the creator of heaven and earth created that position for me but even after my interview, I had to wait a month because out of nowhere two external and highly qualified applicants applied and interviewed which made the process longer. Yes, this was all happening in the midst of a pandemic?! Long story short , I was selected to be permanent nursing director on my unit and I thank God for selecting me for such a time as this (Esther 4:13).

In the midst of this process I mentioned my character and my heart being tested but I also struggled with my identity and ability and worth big time! People see the smiles and laughs but internally I wondered if I was good enough! I was reminded by God through his word and through people he sent my way that he is in control and to trust his perfect will. Honestly, sometimes those words and sayings even though they are true are NOT what you want to hear! I had to really shake myself out of funks many days because it was so hard to wake up and assess myself before walking into a building with people who didn’t care for me or talk about me behind my back. However, as a believer in Jesus Christ he has reminded me: “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.”‭‭Luke‬ ‭6:27-29‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I’m not there yet… But I say all this to say that This journey is a matter of my heart.. my faith in God through Jesus Christ…and my obedience and leading by example to those around me. I know I’m chosen. I know that God is using my workplace as boot camp training to prepare me for his purpose.
Seeing people around me old and young die from not just COVID but Breast cancer and they are around my age, with children and a husband… seeing my colleagues on the sidelines with me helping staff take care of patients because Nurses are leaving the field. I’m just now getting to a place where I am understanding that i must use my voice to influence others in such a time as this! My nursing colleagues and other healthcare colleagues are tired. Right when we thought we reached some sense of relief, the Delta variant comes . We are dealing with Covid 2.0. So many opinions… from experts and non experts… making it political when it’s a freedom of choice. Free will… God gives it to us for a reason and whatever choice we make not just with vaccines… it’s MUCH bigger than that… I’m talking every decision we make even the small ones.. there are consequences.. good as well as bad. That’s the law of cause and effect. We reap what we sow (that’s biblical : Galatians 6:7).

So know that I’m not pressuring anyone to get a vaccine as I share that I’m pro vaccine and have both doses and have shared that story with people and they’ve taken the shot because of my story.. but it’s only Me and my choice and what God wants for ME to do. It’s been a wild ride and even in my tired state writing this I’m thankful because it’s working together for my good (Romans 8:28)! All of my mistakes, failures and hardships are a part of my GUMBO that I am sharing with you.. it gets better as I experience more. The shaking was needed to get me where I needed to be in mind, body, and Spirit and I’m grateful!
Covid is now more aggressive, more contagious and should be taken more seriously. For those who think Covid is a joke. It’s not. Please be aware and think of others. Think of those of us caring for your families and friends..Your decision affects others whether you believe it or not. Above all. Love as God loves and how Jesus encourages us to love others. ❤️
It’s not about us… it’s about others… be safe. GUMBO (God + U (You) + Me = Blessing Others)